New Age + More Nessie

New Age

A story about the worst-case scenario of New-Age bullshit becoming main stream.
Condemned to Repeat It

"They must have done something to Sarah's appendix that night. The next morning it had burst. She was so sick. We tried everything: Homeopathy, Aromatherapy, Psychic Surgery, Acupuncture. Towards the end, I pulled our life savings, and had a Qi Gong specialist flown in from Beijing to adjust her meridian energies. But nothing anyone could do could save her. She died two weeks ago."

The witness was then awakened and dismissed. The Prosecutor walked over to the bench. "Your Honor, in addition to this testimony-evidence, I also have here sworn affidavits that crop circles appeared on the west side after the night in question."

"Excellent," the Judge said. "Hard, corroborating evidence is always helpful in cases like this." He fixed severe eyes on the accused. "Mr. Randall, Conspiring with Grays is a serious accusation. How do you plead?"

Surgeon's Photo

Just a toy.

I was asked about the history of this Loch Ness photo. This, the most famous picture of the Loch Ness Monster was supposedly taken by Dr. Robert Kenneth Wilson in 1934. The Surgeon's Photo is the first to turn the monster into a possible plesiosaur.

The photo however was not taken by the doctor, it is a confirmed fake. It was a model built by a man named Christian Spurling. Marmaduke Wetherell and his son took the photos and passed the film to the reputable, but prank-fan, Dr. Wilson.

The picture in question is cropped in close. I can't get a copy online of the un-cropped photo, but it more strikingly shows the scale of nearby waves. Nessie really does look tiny in the un-cropped photo. This doesn't address all the evidence for a Loch Ness Monster, just the Surgeon's Photo.

Ultimately though, there is no Monster in Loch Ness. A brief summary of the problems any lake monster would face include: what to eat, how to reproduce, and how to stay hidden thought the repeated sonar surveys.